PHILLIP RUDDOCK:
I don't care why the chicken crossed the road. It should be sent
back to where it came from. Who knows what might happen if we keep
letting any old chicken cross the road? We could be inundated with
them. Send them to the farmer up the road a bit and we can pay him
to deal with the problem.
JEFF KENNETT:
If the chicken did cross the road it should have been fitted with
an etag and should pay the same toll as all other road users.
STEVE BRACKS:
Regional chickens should have the same opportunities to cross roads
as chickens living in Melbourne.
JOHN HOWARD:
The chick never crossed the road. And it was not forcibly removed
from its mother! Anyway, that's a matter for the states and is of
no interest to us. The United Nations should butt out.
KIM BEASLEY:
There WAS a chicken and it DID cross the road. This is a deliberate
act by the government to hide the fact that chickens continue to
cross Australian roads.
NATASHA STOTT-DESPOJA:
What if it was not a chicken but a bantam? Minority sectors of our
community shouldn't be discriminated against based purely on the
size of their legs.
EVELYN SCOTT:
To demonstrate a commitment to reconciliation with indigenous
chickens.
PETER COSTELLO:
According to documentation submitted to the Live Foods Processing
Authority, the chicken in question was uncooked at the Time of its
journey and therefore will not incur a GST charge. However, if that
chicken actually crossed the road for profit, regardless of its
raw/cooked status, the road crossing would be considered by the ATO
to be a service for which GST will be imposed.
PAULINE HANSON:
Please explain.
REV FRED NILE:
Because the chicken is gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
'other side'. That's what they call it: the 'other side' Yes, my
friends.
HANSIE CRONJE:
What if I could guarantee that it won't get to the other side?
ROBERT DE NIRO:
Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road? Is that what
you're telling me?
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR:
I envision a world where all chickens, be they black or white or
brown or red or speckled, will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed and that was good enough for us.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it's true?
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel
about your mother?
THE C. I. A:
Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was
no chicken. Please step into the car.
EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define the word 'chicken'?
HOMER SIMPSON:
Mmmm... Chicken.