Tiger in My Toothbrush

There’s a Tiger in my toothbrush, why won’t they understand?
It peers out through the bristles and it tries to bite my hand.
And that’s the real reason that I haven’t brushed my teeth.
Why does everybody stare at me with looks of disbelief?

A Yak fell in my yoghourt, but no one seems to care.
It’s swimming in between the bits of apricot and pear.
“Just hurry up and eat your meal”, they say. “It’s getting late”.
Would they eat Yak and Yoghourt if they found it on their plate?

There are Ferrets in my fruit juice and their teeth are very sharp.
They’re playing water polo with a team of golden Carp.
It’s not because I hate it that I poured it down the sink.
I really feel that chocolate milk would be a safer drink.

There’s a Bison in the bathtub, why can’t everybody tell.
The soap has gone all hairy and there’s such an awful smell.
You’d think they might be worried that I could get badly hurt,
But they just keep yelling, “Hurry up and clean off all that dirt”.

There’s a Walrus in my wardrobe, it snores all through the night.
It makes the bedroom rock and shake, it’s not a pretty sight.
That’s why I can’t go straight to bed, well, surely they can see.
It’s not as if I want to stay up watching more T.V.

There’s a Heron in my hairbrush, you’d think they’d sympathise.
It hangs on tightly with its feet and tries to peck my eyes.
It isn’t that I chose to have my hair in this condition.
I really think that safety first should be my Primary Mission.

There are Hippos on the highway and they’re causing traffic jams.
They’re climbing on the roofs of cars and knocking over trams.
It isn’t that I want to stay home playing in the pool.
It’s simply far too dangerous for me to go to school.